Skip to main content

comment le monde change

That young transgender woman that I thought only worked at the downtown Oakville Starbucks outlet I most frequent was suddenly at the one in Oakville Place Mall. I recognized her immediately and she is not quite passable so I imagine that many people know and yet everyone, colleague and customer alike, seem to treat her normally. Something I am very glad about.

I am waiting for my coffee and suddenly there is a look of recognition and she smiles at me

“Oh, hi you go to the other Starbucks”

“Yes, how are you and what are you doing at this one?” I responded

“This one is 5 minutes away from where I live and no long bus ride anymore”

She hands me my coffee “have a wonderful day” and I say the same to her and miss the name on her badge although I make a mental note to ask her name the next time.

I have this funny feeling that she doesn’t know I am trans although I could be wrong but it doesn’t matter because the objective is not to point fingers at each other in recognition. We are more and more just part of the daily landscape of humanity.

I said in a previous post that her ability to be presenting this way (what I surmise to be mid transition) would have been a huge distraction when I was her age and yet people don’t even raise an eyebrow today.

Isn’t that great?


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

Being transgender isn't exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality

If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

This is why the accusation that male to female transgender persons attracted to women are perverts doesn’t hold much water with me. I was mortified when I hit puberty and realized that my desire to be female had taken on sexual overtones and I ended up, like most of you, repeatedly throwing things in the bin as a repudiation. In fact, accepting that my sexuality has been permanently impacted was the hardest pill to swallow in my journey to become a fully realized transgender person.

That is why I say to those who are still concerned about what outsiders who haven’t lived your personal experience have to say about you should l…