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cross gender arousal part 2

Okay, if someone takes HRT why does their desire to crossdress or transition sometimes diminish?

I wrote here yesterday how we go through puberty and become imprinted with whatever baggage we are carrying at the time which means that your sexuality has been tied to your draw towards the feminine. Hence if we remove testosterone from the equation the libido is dampened thus helping to soothe the dysphoria but also diminish the need for feminization which seems counterintuitive right? But it's not really since your dysphoria, exposed to a cold shower of estrogen, has had its sexual energy greatly diminished.

With a lower level of dysphoria the person can now decide where they reside on the spectrum but they risk being feminized physically beyond a point they are willing to go. For some people a small amount of HRT is what they need to keep their dysphoria in check without entering into a full blown transition.

When I read Susan's (from transitioning into tomorrow) post it was a natural follow up to my post from yesterday. She is taking HRT and with the reduction in testosterone her need to express as female has been diminished. This doesn't mean one isn't transgender only that you may have found a balance point for your dysphoria.

So in a sense, if you want to be sure if transition is really for you then simply take HRT and it will give you your answer.

Stopping the administering of HRT can bring a return of dysphoria so knowing your limit becomes important. The article that Susan points to in her post from Anne Vitale provides some very useful information.

We know the general rules, but there's no way to know how your particular body and mind will react under HRT. What is recommended is that it should be administered and monitored by a licensed physician.


  1. Some people are non binary. The requirements of feminization need not be "complete" feminization.

    My best friend confided in me, almost sheepishly, as she wasn't sure how I would react, that she just didn't feel as sex dysphoric as people in the support group seemed to make it seem was necessary. She didn't want surgery. Or even to have electrolysis. But she liked how she felt on estrogen, and the changes it brought about. But she thought it was enough for her.

    "Don't listen to the people at the support group. Listen to your body. They don't have the roadmap to you. You do," I told her.

    And she's totally fine with that now. She's blossomed into a very confident non-binary femme. And she's awesome.

    Now, she didn't have cross gender arousal - despite being a late transitioner - so, that's not quite what you're referring to. But it sort of is. I mean, our fantasies are likely to be influenced by what we see, what we understand, and can be fluid as life transpires.

    I think you're exactly right that people's bodies will find that balance. And why not? Kinda nice to venture down a path that could be long and treacherous, only to find home at a resting point earlier than others. :)

    1. Thank God she listened to you Caryn because the old narrative would have been go all the way or nothing. You are the master of what you need to do to keep you balanced ☺

    2. I was a well known apostate back in the day of that all-or-nothing approach. It is a continued source of heartache to me when I see it still propagated in so-called support groups today.

      But promoting my friend to listen was just a matter of showIng her that no matter who she turned out to be, I would validate her. Walk down the street proudly with her. Never judge or impose myself onto herself.

      I find so much joy in being that friend, and watchmg trans people blossom into themselves. Never really understood the need to dogmatically insist that someone else must conform to a cookie cutter template.

  2. A couple of months ago I asked a trans-friendly endocrinologist a question: could low-dose HRT be used as a kind of litmus test for one's being transgender? My idea was that if a "trans questioning" cis person took them they would feel negative affects while a trans person would generally feel better in their own skin (which is what I've heard over and over). He completely affirmed this.

    I recently started low-dose HRT (spiro and estradiol) and at this point don't feel much if any difference. I told my therapist that I do feel an ambivalence about transitioning but I think that's more related to my feeling that transitioning is such a steep mountain to climb. She advised that all but children feel ambivalence especially about such things - my feelings are all normal.

    I do enjoy dressing Emma in her clothing and love buying more. I'm a sucker for those pop-up ads from Modcloth and others. When I see a pretty dress or outfit I'm right there checking it out and if it's price is reasonable, ordering it.

    I don't know if this adds much to the discussion so please forgive me if I'm led is astray.


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