Skip to main content

the sisterhood

My young waitress couldn’t have been much older than 20 and she kept calling me love during breakfast which is something I have noticed some women do here.

It started when I walked into the breakfast place where I go after Sunday Mass every weekend I am here. The older waitress greets me at the door and says:

“Hi do you mind sitting right there darlin’?” pointing to a little table near the window

“No not at all” I responded

“Good girl” she says for a moment sounding like a condescending mother and places the cutlery in front of me as I sit down.

Then this younger waitress arrives all smiles and cheeriness and serves me very politely throughout. At the end of my breakfast as I am about to pay the bill and I point it out to her:

“Women use terms like love and darling towards each other here. We don’t do that so much in Montreal where I’m from”

She gives me an even bigger smile and says:

“Oh I know isn’t great? I can’t help it”

“Well you keep right on doing it”

It made me think that the sisterhood that is women maybe has little choice due to being an underprivileged class but then they are also not encouraged to be as aggressive or confrontational; I have seen the difference first hand many times. They also smile at each other in acknowledgement much more than men do.

I have heard people say that women are more adversarial towards each other in the workplace and that is maybe true but I also chalk that up to the environment that asks you to ramp up the aggression in order to be seen as successful.

It’s a funny world isn't it.


Comments

Post a comment

Popular posts from this blog

my last post

This will be my last blog post.

When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.

With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are …

epilogue

While this blog is most definitely over, I wanted to explain that part of the reason is that it was getting in the way of writing my next book called "Notes, Essays and Short Stories from the North" which will combine philosophy, trans issues, my observations on life, some short fiction and things that have happened to me over my life and continue to (both trans related and not).

When it is complete I will post the news here and will be happy to send you a free copy upon request in either PDF or eBook format. All I ask is that you provide me with some feedback once you're done reading it.

I'm only in the early stages so it will be a while.

Be well all of you....

sample pages...
















love of self

If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…