It started when I walked into the breakfast place where I go after Sunday Mass every weekend I am here. The older waitress greets me at the door and says:
“Hi do you mind sitting right there darlin’?” pointing to a little table near the window
“No not at all” I responded
“Good girl” she says for a moment sounding like a condescending mother and places the cutlery in front of me as I sit down.
Then this younger waitress arrives all smiles and cheeriness and serves me very politely throughout. At the end of my breakfast as I am about to pay the bill and I point it out to her:
“Women use terms like love and darling towards each other here. We don’t do that so much in Montreal where I’m from”
She gives me an even bigger smile and says:
“Oh I know isn’t great? I can’t help it”
“Well you keep right on doing it”
It made me think that the sisterhood that is women maybe has little choice due to being an underprivileged class but then they are also not encouraged to be as aggressive or confrontational; I have seen the difference first hand many times. They also smile at each other in acknowledgement much more than men do.
I have heard people say that women are more adversarial towards each other in the workplace and that is maybe true but I also chalk that up to the environment that asks you to ramp up the aggression in order to be seen as successful.
It’s a funny world isn't it.