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what drives my writing now

For several years, my blog was my primary source of self help in grappling with and trying to comprehend my dysphoria. At times it was a jumbled mess of thoughts and ideas but after a while things began to coalesce in my mind as my thinking on the subject matured.

Over time, it has morphed into an expression of who I am and hopefully helps others sort through the emotions relating to their own gender issues and maybe even inspires them to have confidence in themselves. There are no simple answers for dealing with being transgender but I have found that it is a bit like eating an elephant; one sorts things out one bite at a time.

My writing is now mostly focused on social justice because the world is full of people just waiting to pounce on things they do not comprehend. It becomes all the more incumbent upon people like us that we address that prejudice with our heads held high. Early on in my life I saw some of the ugliness in human nature and, as a shy kid born with a malformation of the ears and gender dysphoria, I had to fashion some way to survive in this world and I did. I used my intellect to fashion a shield for myself but not being able to express who I truly was came at a price.

As I age, I am finding that it is best to work on your insides and fashion a security and understanding of your own nature and leave those who don’t want to understand or accept you to their own devices. The coordinate system that everyone else uses to measure everything cannot apply to us and hence we shouldn't embrace it. I know I did my best to gain approval from people who worked comfortably within it and suffered as a consequence. That lesson has now been learned.

We should instead view ourselves as self contained entities trying to make a go of it in a world that is largely based on dubious principles and tenets that often don't make any sense.

Therefore, before trying to change the world I decided to start with myself first.


Comments

  1. I get it. I'm glad you've achieved clarity about your past and your future. I realized early that the world was the problem, not me, so I stopped giving others moral authority over my life.

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    Replies
    1. I am very happy that you were able to do that early. Saves an awful lot of needless suffering.

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  2. You've helped me a lot, Joanna, and I greatly appreciate your writing. It's amazing how far I've come with help from friends like you. Sure, I'm the one who's going through her own hero's journey and it's scary and challenging at times. But as I peer into my rearview mirror the past is vanishing while the view forward is so much more exciting than I could ever have wished for. Tomorrow I have an appointment to start HRT, Thursday is my first appt for electrolysis, and I'm going out fully dressed in public each week more often than I present either androgynously or male.

    Sure, it would have been better to have gone through all this a few decades ago but the past is the past. I muddled through as best as I could. The future is bright!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Only you can know what your path needs to be Emma but it appears you are on the right one. I am very glad for you!

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