Skip to main content

what drives my writing now

For several years, my blog was my primary source of self help in grappling with and trying to comprehend my dysphoria. At times it was a jumbled mess of thoughts and ideas but after a while things began to coalesce in my mind as my thinking on the subject matured.

Over time, it has morphed into an expression of who I am and hopefully helps others sort through the emotions relating to their own gender issues and maybe even inspires them to have confidence in themselves. There are no simple answers for dealing with being transgender but I have found that it is a bit like eating an elephant; one sorts things out one bite at a time.

My writing is now mostly focused on social justice because the world is full of people just waiting to pounce on things they do not comprehend. It becomes all the more incumbent upon people like us that we address that prejudice with our heads held high. Early on in my life I saw some of the ugliness in human nature and, as a shy kid born with a malformation of the ears and gender dysphoria, I had to fashion some way to survive in this world and I did. I used my intellect to fashion a shield for myself but not being able to express who I truly was came at a price.

As I age, I am finding that it is best to work on your insides and fashion a security and understanding of your own nature and leave those who don’t want to understand or accept you to their own devices. The coordinate system that everyone else uses to measure everything cannot apply to us and hence we shouldn't embrace it. I know I did my best to gain approval from people who worked comfortably within it and suffered as a consequence. That lesson has now been learned.

We should instead view ourselves as self contained entities trying to make a go of it in a world that is largely based on dubious principles and tenets that often don't make any sense.

Therefore, before trying to change the world I decided to start with myself first.


Comments

  1. I get it. I'm glad you've achieved clarity about your past and your future. I realized early that the world was the problem, not me, so I stopped giving others moral authority over my life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am very happy that you were able to do that early. Saves an awful lot of needless suffering.

      Delete
  2. You've helped me a lot, Joanna, and I greatly appreciate your writing. It's amazing how far I've come with help from friends like you. Sure, I'm the one who's going through her own hero's journey and it's scary and challenging at times. But as I peer into my rearview mirror the past is vanishing while the view forward is so much more exciting than I could ever have wished for. Tomorrow I have an appointment to start HRT, Thursday is my first appt for electrolysis, and I'm going out fully dressed in public each week more often than I present either androgynously or male.

    Sure, it would have been better to have gone through all this a few decades ago but the past is the past. I muddled through as best as I could. The future is bright!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Only you can know what your path needs to be Emma but it appears you are on the right one. I am very glad for you!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

how times change

How times have changed.

Whereas transition was something not to even contemplate for us, here is a young trans person who felt the opposite pressure. She looks and sounds extremely passable but decided it wasn't for her despite the social media presence of young transitioners potentially inspiring her to.

We are all different and I happen to think she's rather a smart cookie as well...


indoctrination

As transgender people, organized religion hasn't really been our friend however on the other hand it has often had little to do with true spirituality. I needed to learn this over time and much of what I was taught growing up was steeped in the judgmental superstition of society instead of what some creator would demand of me.

Regardless of your belief system, you are a child of the universe and have been endowed with uniqueness and goodness of spirit. You have probably never wished anyone ill will and you have tried your best to live within the absurd coordinate system of humanity. Yet somehow belonging to the LGBT community was entirely your fault.

As I have grown older this inherent irrationality became increasingly evident to me. I knew I was a fundamentally good person and yet I was different in a way which was not of my choosing. Hence with this comprehension my self appreciation and esteem grew in proportion.

Religion for me today seems forever trapped in the misinterpretat…

let's please read carefully

This post is prompted by a recent comment I received to one of my older posts and I wanted to address it.

I used to wonder why some transgender people accepted Blanchard’s work until I think I figured out why: they may not have examined it closely enough. They would experience cross gender arousal and then accept it was Autogynephilia without properly understanding what the term meant and what the theory said: it is an invented sexual “illness” which makes people transition. In other words, it is the arousal itself which causes this desire and not a pre-existing gender identity which does not align with birth sex. Of course, Blanchard has no explanation for the origin of his proposed “illness” only that it is a form of sexual deviance.

My counter proposal? we transition despite this arousal. In other words, the transgender identity is pre-existing and the arousal is the result of the mismatching of burgeoning sexual feelings towards females and this misaligned identity; it is not per…