Skip to main content

to blend

Disappearing more into the background has been wonderful. I can be in the ladies room washing my hands next to some teenage girls and they will pay me no mind because to them I am just a tall middle aged woman.

Saturday morning I went to the esthetician to have my eyebrows cleaned up (not thinned). The young woman and I talked as she worked and it felt natural. I didn't concern myself with how I was being perceived.

I cannot explain any of it but it's been a desire since I was very young and I am finally able to blend in convincingly; and no, it never gets old. It is what is allowing me to manage my gender dysphoria and be happy. The solution was all in my head but, for better or worse, I needed this long journey to get here.

It's like my friend Clare says, we are more than a gender stereotype. We are first and foremost human.




Comments

  1. You know, I’ve been reading your blog for many years. It has been such a pleasure to “watch” (for lack of a better word) you progress and figure things out in your own time. Thank you for allowing people into your process. I am sure it has helped so many people.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. its comments like these Caryn that help me to keep going thank you!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

how times change

How times have changed.

Whereas transition was something not to even contemplate for us, here is a young trans person who felt the opposite pressure. She looks and sounds extremely passable but decided it wasn't for her despite the social media presence of young transitioners potentially inspiring her to.

We are all different and I happen to think she's rather a smart cookie as well...


my last post

This will be my last post.

When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.

With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are very …

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…