Skip to main content

chameleon

I adjust to the situations I find myself in. I have done that my entire life and, only when those situations change do I then consider other avenues. In other words, if I were a relationship today my plan of attack would take everything into consideration because life isn't perfect and compromise is its natural component.

Today I find myself with only myself to consider (minus some tweaks for my children) and the rules of the game have changed through circumstance. This is what now permits a different type of reflection.

Were I to meet someone today they wouldn't see the same person I was even a year ago and they would need to accept me if for no other reason that I haven't been as unconcerned with romantic love at any point in my life. This means that whatever happens or not will be left entirely to chance.

I have a lot of respect for trans people who love their spouses and adjust themselves accordingly; only their coordinate system hasn't shifted and mine has.

Comments

  1. We are all chameleons. On romantic dates, at work, with friends, and yes, with our partners. I tried very very hard to adjust myself for my wife of 21+ years. In the end I came close to ending my life. She had to be a chameleon too and willing for us to find a common coordinate system (I grok that metaphor!). She was unable to do so, so both of us in tears, we have parted our marriage but remain very close emotionally.

    I'll be a chameleon next Saturday evening - in a happy way. I've been invited to attend an ACLU dinner featuring Laverne Cox as the keynote speaker. Just yesterday I received a couple of pretty dresses and plan on wearing one of them to the event. I want to look nice and present myself as the woman that I am. Now that's a happy chameleon!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am glad that things are finally working out for you after so many years of struggle

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

my last post

This will be my last blog post.

When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.

With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are …

epilogue

While this blog is most definitely over, I wanted to explain that part of the reason is that it was getting in the way of writing my next book called "Notes, Essays and Short Stories from the North" which will combine philosophy, trans issues, my observations on life, some short fiction and things that have happened to me over my life and continue to (both trans related and not).

When it is complete I will post the news here and will be happy to send you a free copy upon request in either PDF or eBook format. All I ask is that you provide me with some feedback once you're done reading it.

I'm only in the early stages so it will be a while.

Be well all of you....

sample pages...
















love of self

If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…