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the outside world

I have an admission to make: I am not drawn to transgender events. No, I have never attended one and yet the very idea turns me off. Part of it may have to do with my refusal to accept who I was for so long but the other may lie in my much keener interest in blending into the rest of society. From a distance these events seem to me like a place to hide out and ghettoize ourselves.

I know some of you will vehemently disagree with me and you would be within your rights to do so but I don’t think I will ever attend one now; not when I have gotten a taste of the outside. But then it must also be said that I am a bit of a solitary bird and prefer one on one interaction.

I understand that for some people who are closeted these conventions present a chance to get out and spend some quality time but then the kitschy fashion shows and make up demonstrations grate against my sensibilities. Even if I had been born female I wouldn’t go to woman’s shows for the same reason; they are just not for me.

I once met a married crossdresser who was very much into these shows and confessed during our meeting he was a dominatrix on the side which is why I have been more careful than ever about overlapping with others who profess themselves to be transgender. This undoubtedly coloured things for me as well.

I will stick to the outside world thanks.


  1. We see eyelash-to-eyelash on this topic, Joanna! The only reason I attend is to present workshops and more importantly, to see old friends that I am not likely to meet out among the civilians.

    1. If there is anyone that is out and about its you Stana!

  2. I feel generally the same way, Joanna, which seems to surprise some trans people I run across. i have attended trans-only groups and it kind of bores me. On the one hand, sure, I empathize. But to only be there because we're trans just isn't enough of a connection. I want to be doing something other than sitting around in a circle.

    I also went out out to dinner a time or two with crossdressers. People who know they are trans, but are married, and maybe once a week they gather for dinner and socializing. This didn't do it for me either.

    But I did recently attend the Gender Odyssey conference in Seattle, which was fantastic. Learned a lot, met some people, and enjoyed myself.

  3. You won’t get any disagreement from me Joanna. It could be because I am not a group type of person as, for me, I often find any group lacking in human warmth by its very nature of being a group, I guess. I had been thinking it was just me not getting this we are all sisters together thing.

    You have put it very nicely and clearly.


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