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no replacement for your own hard work

Probably the hardest thing you will ever need to do during your transgender journey is to fully accept yourself. It is what eluded me for years and even when you are sure you are there, bucking the trend in a world set up for a perfect binary is no easy task.

In today’s world, a young transitioner is unlikely to keep that identity hidden for long and they must learn to grapple with the everyday reminder that they are not welcome by everyone around them. Here is where your sense of yourself must come in and remind you that how people see you is not nearly as important as how you see yourself.

I wish I could tell you that there was a magic bullet to get you to that place of perfect peace but there isn’t. It is often an extended period of living in reflective thought where you finally escape the bonds of societal pressure and become yourself. The hardest aspect for me was considering how my friends, family and any prospective partner would view the way I am. But even that had to eventually melt away under the fatigue of living so many years trying to meet other's expectations.

Being transgender is no picnic and the only one who can help you through this reconciliation is yourself. No therapist, friend, priest or doctor will replace that meditative journey you must make entirely on your own.

Comments

  1. Yes, to all of the above.

    Do make use of the resources that might be available (therapists, friends, priests or doctors), but know that in the end, you are the only one whose acceptance matters.

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    1. Looking forward to meeting up soon Halle

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  2. "Probably the hardest thing you will ever need to do during your transgender journey is to fully accept yourself." I couldn't agree more.

    I've invested so much, to learn and answer questions for myself such as nature vs. nurture (nature), whether I'm really trans or not (yes), whether I need to transition or not (yes), and yet, I still have struggles around self-acceptance. For me part of this is my need for external affirmation. I'm working on that now with my therapist. I did find an article recently that helped me a lot. It's not that long and it's not directly addressing my issue(s) but it really resonated with me:
    https://aeon.co/essays/this-is-why-cognitive-behavioural-therapy-works-so-well?utm_source=Aeon+Newsletter&utm_campaign=ed6f59f52c-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2017_11_06&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_411a82e59d-ed6f59f52c-68728797

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. take your time with this process Emma as it will take as long as it needs to. Thanks for the link and will read...

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