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Things have changed

Things have changed over time in that I can be in the busiest eatery and not worry at all about being noticed. I am a woman in the crowd and feel comfortable that way after not thinking this was ever going to be a possibility. So there I was locked out of my place most of Saturday after forgetting my keys and then trying the electronic keypad and having it not work. So no access to a vehicle, no cell phone and dressed as a woman.

Twenty years ago the locked out and dressed as a woman part would have been the end of the world whereas today it’s the best part of the equation and the no keys and no phone part that irritates.

It was the weekend and the only thing I had in my purse was my tablet so I could at least email my coffee buddy that I wasn’t going to make it. So I found things to do until someone came to open my door. As it turns out it was more an email telling me where to find the keys in their office which didn't happen till after 6 pm.

I have not been sleeping well near the end of this mandate and the pressure had been intense but living full time except for work has been eye opening and has compensated in some ways.

Turns out I have given up trying to worry about being a stereotypical male that someone else can care about and instead I have settled for being myself.

Comments

  1. I also applaud you! For me these days it’s not much about passing. I think I present well but I’m sure there are plenty of times when I’m clocked. It just doesn’t seem to matter to others. I just go about my life.

    Yesterday I had a return at a lumber store. My receipt and account clearly say “Emma” and yet the very friendly man at the counter said “sir”. I just let it roll off. I’m confident that he didn’t mean anything by it.

    But I can sure remember the terror I felt when even thinking of driving while dressed, getting pulled over or having car troubles. Now it just doesn’t matter.

    I do look forward to the days when I’m gendered properly! In the meantime I just go about my business.

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