Some people can dress once a month and be happy with that and consider it progress while others cannot abide one more day without transitioning.
I dress every single day even if it is only for an hour. Sometimes it is because I have gotten home late and need to get some groceries and, because it doesn’t take me long anymore and can be ready in 15 minutes, I do it without hesitation. It really represents an important part of my identity which brings me much peace and comfort.
I came from a long way back and how I live my life now would be an unacceptable situation particularly for those of you who are married and whose trans identity is not exactly welcome. But there is no going back and what I have attained now is the best compromise I can muster and still live an honest life which reflects who I am. The only possible variation left would be to work as Joanna; something which is still under consideration.
The process has been so slow and organic that I cannot point to one significant step change. Instead it has been a lightly graded ramp such that change was hardly perceptible unless you look back to measure progress.
The reality is that we are on our own here with no guidebook. The hard and fast rules of being transgender are not written down but must be worked out through experimentation. It involves asking a question and then trying out a series of possible answers to test our mettle. As each new echelon is reached we check our comfort level and then decide whether to climb to the next with the price of not acting the risk of not being your true self.
Some people wonder how they know they are trans when a good part of the answer lies in the very fact they are asking the question.