Skip to main content

social media blues

Apple CEO Tim Cook won’t allow his nephew on social media for good reason. When Facebook was first invented it was supposed to connect people to each other. It might have been an innocent enough idea but in fact the darker side of social media has been winning it seems with online harassment, general feelings of inadequacy and people losing themselves in a cyberworld instead of living in the real one. We are more connected and yet more estranged than ever and even in my own family invitation to events are made on Facebook in lieu of phone calls. I am not on Facebook so someone eventually texts or calls me.

Technology has been wonderful but it has come at a price and as jobs are lost to automation and social media networks proliferate we begin to see patterns emerging.

I sit in a subway car and most people are immersed in their cell phones which have now become our lifelines. Many of us are on social media networks exchanging details of our lives that would perhaps best be not shared with everyone we know; a great deal of it admittedly mundane. Once they are posted there is no effortless way to take them back and they are there almost for posterity unless one takes the painful effort of deleting them one by one.

Today I leave the house without my cell phone and get a pang of discomfort because not only does it connect me with my private life but it has also become my work phone. I haven’t had a land line for years and don’t plan on ever going back. It would only be worse if I were dependent on social media.

I don’t expect the genie will ever be put back into the bottle but I would like to think we might back away from the precipice even just a little.


  1. I remember a time when showing everyone your vacation photos was a faux pas generating angst and awkwardness as people did not want to tell you how boring it was for them. Now, if you do not publish your vacation photos for the world’s consumption, people feel left out, and will let you know.

    I abhor social media, and simply do not use it. I have tried Facebook on two occasions, and never cared for it. I don’t want to know everyone’s passing thoughts or what they had for breakfast. Or have people upset with me because I did not give them the rush of “liking” something they posted. I enjoyed Twitter when I could follow people who just posted links to news articles they found interesting, but it’s become a repository for insults beneath the dignity of the officeholders hurling them. I don’t surveil myself or act as my own paparazzi. I am not a celebrity and do not want to be one. I don’t worry about putting my best foot forward in virtual brochures for everyone else to think my life is far more splendid than it is. I just live my life and absorb its experiences.

    I wasn’t always so curmudgeonly about it. But it’s no longer merely eccentric to abstain from social media. When people discover I’m not on FB, the looks I get are disapproving. Some even get angry. So, I’m getting more vocal about it.

    1. we agree here Caryn and I don't have a social media presence either. I find that it is either posting pap or exposing too much of what one is doing or going. This is where that inadequacy factor comes in where some people feel their lives are less interesting compared to some else's largely fabricated one online. I am happier not being there.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

how times change

How times have changed.

Whereas transition was something not to even contemplate for us, here is a young trans person who felt the opposite pressure. She looks and sounds extremely passable but decided it wasn't for her despite the social media presence of young transitioners potentially inspiring her to.

We are all different and I happen to think she's rather a smart cookie as well...


As transgender people, organized religion hasn't really been our friend however on the other hand it has often had little to do with true spirituality. I needed to learn this over time and much of what I was taught growing up was steeped in the judgmental superstition of society instead of what some creator would demand of me.

Regardless of your belief system, you are a child of the universe and have been endowed with uniqueness and goodness of spirit. You have probably never wished anyone ill will and you have tried your best to live within the absurd coordinate system of humanity. Yet somehow belonging to the LGBT community was entirely your fault.

As I have grown older this inherent irrationality became increasingly evident to me. I knew I was a fundamentally good person and yet I was different in a way which was not of my choosing. Hence with this comprehension my self appreciation and esteem grew in proportion.

Religion for me today seems forever trapped in the misinterpretat…

let's please read carefully

This post is prompted by a recent comment I received to one of my older posts and I wanted to address it.

I used to wonder why some transgender people accepted Blanchard’s work until I think I figured out why: they may not have examined it closely enough. They would experience cross gender arousal and then accept it was Autogynephilia without properly understanding what the term meant and what the theory said: it is an invented sexual “illness” which makes people transition. In other words, it is the arousal itself which causes this desire and not a pre-existing gender identity which does not align with birth sex. Of course, Blanchard has no explanation for the origin of his proposed “illness” only that it is a form of sexual deviance.

My counter proposal? we transition despite this arousal. In other words, the transgender identity is pre-existing and the arousal is the result of the mismatching of burgeoning sexual feelings towards females and this misaligned identity; it is not per…