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everyone transitions with us

It is not just you transitioning from one state to another; your family and your friends transition with you. By transition here I refer to whatever that means for you which could simply be going from being closeted to an out trans person.

When I was speaking to Helene Cote recently she noted how many of her patients come to her with an "arm the torpedoes" attitude expecting everyone else to get with the program. I told her I personally could not do this because I made life commitments to have children and I couldn't just turn the tables on them like that. However, the other day I was having lunch with my son and we were talking about his cousin coming out as gay which led the subject towards tolerance in general and then to my being trans. I then asked him whether he would ever feel comfortable seeing me dressed. He thought for a moment, smiled and said he would but maybe then suggested that changing my voice would seem quite strange to him. He asked me to show him how I sounded and he was sufficiently impressed that be even tried to emulate it himself after which we both had a good laugh about it; instead of laughing at me my son was laughing with me.

Let's remember that your family needs time to absorb any major life change that we go through and it is not just about us. We need to bring them along slowly and have them see things aren't quite so scary and that, underneath the changed exterior, we are still the same people they have always known.

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Comments

  1. We all fit into one another’s lives like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. When we must change shape, so must those around us. Indeed, there are times when we *must*, but as we do, we must also offer the compassion and understanding we seek.

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    Replies
    1. life is ever shifting Caryn and I can bear this out in my own life. We must also be aware that others around us are experiencing the same thing and be mindful of how those changes fit with ours.

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