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teflon

Even if it is not fair to be judged based on appearance this is how the world is. People are measured by physical attractiveness and by the degree of maleness and femaleness that they exude. So whereas some transgender women bemoan the need to pass, they will be evaluated on this metric no matter what they wish to happen.

We transgender people will receive a higher degree of scrutiny just as a cisgender woman who is very tall or too masculine looking would. There are many rude people in this world who will stare straight at you.

Regardless, at my age I no longer care why I am being stared at. It could be because I incite suspicion regarding my gender or because the person likes tall women or because they like or don't like what I wear. When I was in Toronto’s China town one day I passed three Chinese women one of whom was older. I could tell that this lady was commenting about me to the younger women and I turned back maybe expecting a disapproving look from her. Because they were speaking Chinese, they must have seen my expression of curiosity and one of the two younger said in accented English

“She said beautiful”

I smiled at this older woman to thank her and she returned in kind adding a friendly nod of acknowledgement. This experience once again reinforced why I no longer make assumptions about what people might be thinking. They can think what they want.

If you don’t care about people’s opinions then passing need not be important to you but it will avoid problems if you do. The 6’7” person gets used to being stared at and so will you and in that sense I think there is an advantage in that you develop an immunity to being evaluated from a distance.

No matter what, it helps to be made of teflon.


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