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a visit to the endo

I will admit I was a little apprehensive about visiting the endocrinologist and I had built up some scenarios in my head as to how it might go.

For example, I imagined a quizzical look from a hospital admitter as she tried to make sense of the woman in front of her with the male ID on the medical card. Of course no such thing occurred and this young millenial woman treated me with utmost respect and didn't bat an eyelash as she took down my information. No doubt I am not the first nor the last transgender person she admits.

Also my travel there by public transit was uneventful as to be ho hum but this is the way things have become for me now when out on public. There is no nervous thrill just the happiness of being myself.

Then I check in with the doctor's receptionist and nothing special happens either. She registers me and says

" Have a sit Miss and he will call you"

Then I waited and waited and waited some more until 2 hours later he finally saw me which was not all that unusual for our Canadian specialists except today I was told he was particularly behind schedule. Boy was it worth the wait though.

Dr Morris is gregarious and happy go lucky while at once philosophical. After some wonderful exchanges he proceeded to tell me that I looked, walked and sounded better than 90% of the people who have ever come to see him pre-transition. I think he did this to bolster me after some expressed dubiousness regarding transitioning.

He told me his job isn't to sell me or tell me anything but to see what I want and help improve my quality of life as a trans person. He also told me he sees many patients who are perfectly happy to live in both worlds in some form of social or partial medical transition. But he also told me to disregard the opinion of others and to not rule out that I might be and always have been a woman.

I see him again in October by which time he will have in his possession the full battery of blood tests he will have me undertake. Then we will take things one baby step at a time.

"Joanna are you proud of who you are?" He asks me with a Cheshire cat smile

"Yes Doctor Morris, I am" I respond.

Comments

  1. Dr Morris sounds a lot like my endocrinologist; a keeper.

    Along with disregarding the opinions of others, do not feel you have to live up to any past commitments you might have made. "You are free to reinvent yourself at any time."

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  2. October sounds like a terribly long time to wait. Five months? One month would be stretching it. There aren’t that many blood tests!

    Still, good on you Joanna. He’ll likely start you on a low dose and titrate up from there. As a couple of endos advised me, a cis person would feel very uncomfortable and unsettled on even low dose HRT while a trans person will feel like she’s at home. Which will you be? I’ll bet the latter.

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    Replies
    1. The way he explained it Emma is he wants to get to know me and figure out what I might want. He doesn't just want to give me androgen blockers and let me go. He takes a very methodical approach which suits me perfectly

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  3. I must have missed something, Joanna. I thought you were dead-set against HRT. Please don't take this the wrong way. I entirely support any decision anyone trans makes. I was just curious what changed your mind.

    While my preference is full transition, I have my reasons for not proceeding at this point and that includes HRT, although.....god do I want it.

    ReplyDelete

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