Skip to main content

taking the plunge ever again

While I was having a bite recently with Ralph (Shybiker) he asked me the following question: “Would you ever be interested in pursuing another relationship?”

I then reflected for a moment and came up with an answer: yes and no.

No, I will never look again in a conscious way. I am not the type of person who goes online and seeks somebody out and finding a fully accepting partner as a transgender person is a bit like finding a needle in a haystack; especially one from my generation. In other words, you would be wasting time searching instead of living your life.

At this point my biggest fear is repression and I will never return to it. Once we achieve an echelon in our transgender journey there is no going back because we must claw our way slowly and deliberately inch by inch just to get where we are. Meeting someone who would have me go backwards is just not something I want at this stage of my life.

Is there openness on my part? Of course there is but it would now take a formidable soul who can look past the window dressing and get to the root of who I am as a person and you don’t find these people every day on the street. I am also an intellectual and would like someone to discuss my thoughts, ideas and feelings with which is very important to me.

Personal experience has left me rather cynical about this whole process and yet find the freedom from the pheromones that drive youth to be very useful. It seems that the biological imperative to mate is at its peak then and it does not often bow to what the mind sometimes warns us of. Life experience tempers those waters and we can now heed the warning bell that signals things may not end well.

It seems every season of life has its particular character.

Image result for calm waters

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

how times change

How times have changed.

Whereas transition was something not to even contemplate for us, here is a young trans person who felt the opposite pressure. She looks and sounds extremely passable but decided it wasn't for her despite the social media presence of young transitioners potentially inspiring her to.

We are all different and I happen to think she's rather a smart cookie as well...


indoctrination

As transgender people, organized religion hasn't really been our friend however on the other hand it has often had little to do with true spirituality. I needed to learn this over time and much of what I was taught growing up was steeped in the judgmental superstition of society instead of what some creator would demand of me.

Regardless of your belief system, you are a child of the universe and have been endowed with uniqueness and goodness of spirit. You have probably never wished anyone ill will and you have tried your best to live within the absurd coordinate system of humanity. Yet somehow belonging to the LGBT community was entirely your fault.

As I have grown older this inherent irrationality became increasingly evident to me. I knew I was a fundamentally good person and yet I was different in a way which was not of my choosing. Hence with this comprehension my self appreciation and esteem grew in proportion.

Religion for me today seems forever trapped in the misinterpretat…

let's please read carefully

This post is prompted by a recent comment I received to one of my older posts and I wanted to address it.

I used to wonder why some transgender people accepted Blanchard’s work until I think I figured out why: they may not have examined it closely enough. They would experience cross gender arousal and then accept it was Autogynephilia without properly understanding what the term meant and what the theory said: it is an invented sexual “illness” which makes people transition. In other words, it is the arousal itself which causes this desire and not a pre-existing gender identity which does not align with birth sex. Of course, Blanchard has no explanation for the origin of his proposed “illness” only that it is a form of sexual deviance.

My counter proposal? we transition despite this arousal. In other words, the transgender identity is pre-existing and the arousal is the result of the mismatching of burgeoning sexual feelings towards females and this misaligned identity; it is not per…