In my case, I had bought wholeheartedly into everything which is why I struggled and blamed myself for failing to live up to it perfectly. It wasn't until I realized that I could embrace my femininity without fear that things began to fall into place. This need not be an exaggerated form either and you won't see me posting pinup pictures here, but we can embrace the full spectrum of who we are without fear and bask in how freeing that is. We can repatriate our full range of expression to help formulate our own uniqueness.
Once this first part is accomplished you can then decide whether transition is for you or not; for your mind must be free of clutter.
In the end, we are not obliged to be archetypal caricatures of gender; we are above all human beings. Some of us eventually figure out that going with our own current is preferable to swimming against it.
It's okay to be whole.