The only thing that I kept thinking was that this occurrence would have been so frightening until relatively recently. It was a series of little steps that got me here and now I don’t need to second guess every gesture or movement anymore. The voice is there when I need it and it is effortless to the point that I don’t even think about it.
There were five of us around that table and the meeting lasted about 2 hours. I expressed myself when I needed to, and everything worked like a reflex.
Later on the subway, aside from the usual tall woman looks I get from time to time, no one paid me any mind which is the way I always imagined it would feel like when you blend in.
Am I a different person? No I am still me with the added permission to dress and behave as I like. I allowed for a rewiring of my mind to permit what was always natural but had allowed society to take away from me.
It has happened ever so slowly but I have somehow managed to become myself.