Skip to main content

endo visit number 2

The receptionist takes my appointment slip and Medicare card.

After putting all together she asks:

"Your name Miss?"

"Joanna" then I add "you're good"

She puts a yellow post it note on the paper so the doctor uses the right name. She is used to transgender people without their gender marker changed.

In the waiting room I engage in conversation with the woman next to me for a solid 45 minutes. He is running behind schedule and we help each other out by distracting each other. She is very pleasant and it flows without much effort. My how other people's lives are fascinating and challenging.

I finally go in to see him.

"You look fantastic. You could teach a course" he tells me.

"Are you happy because you look it. What do want hormones for?"

"Well I don't in fact I was hoping you would talk me out of it"

"Well I could give you anti-androgens and watch your libido go down and maybe thin out your beard"

"No I don't need that" I respond

"Look you're perfectly normal and I have lots of dysphoric patients like you who live in various states from no hormones to full transition. They are each happy in their own way"

There is much more which was said but this wise old gentleman was fascinating. We decided to see each again in 9 months to see how I feel then.

How do I feel? I feel happy and even happier after seeing him today.


  1. Did you really go to him with hopes that he'd talk you out of it? Or, were you looking for confirmation that hormones are not mandatory in order for a trans woman to be happy? I could have told you that, dear! ;-)


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

my last post

This will be my last blog post.

When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.

With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are …


While this blog is most definitely over, I wanted to explain that part of the reason is that it was getting in the way of writing my next book called "Notes, Essays and Short Stories from the North" which will combine philosophy, trans issues, my observations on life, some short fiction and things that have happened to me over my life and continue to (both trans related and not).

When it is complete I will post the news here and will be happy to send you a free copy upon request in either PDF or eBook format. All I ask is that you provide me with some feedback once you're done reading it.

I'm only in the early stages so it will be a while.

Be well all of you....

sample pages...

love of self

If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…