After putting all together she asks:
"Your name Miss?"
"Joanna" then I add "you're good"
She puts a yellow post it note on the paper so the doctor uses the right name. She is used to transgender people without their gender marker changed.
In the waiting room I engage in conversation with the woman next to me for a solid 45 minutes. He is running behind schedule and we help each other out by distracting each other. She is very pleasant and it flows without much effort. My how other people's lives are fascinating and challenging.
I finally go in to see him.
"You look fantastic. You could teach a course" he tells me.
"Are you happy because you look it. What do want hormones for?"
"Well I don't in fact I was hoping you would talk me out of it"
"Well I could give you anti-androgens and watch your libido go down and maybe thin out your beard"
"No I don't need that" I respond
"Look you're perfectly normal and I have lots of dysphoric patients like you who live in various states from no hormones to full transition. They are each happy in their own way"
There is much more which was said but this wise old gentleman was fascinating. We decided to see each again in 9 months to see how I feel then.
How do I feel? I feel happy and even happier after seeing him today.