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no fear of being outed

This Friday I am having birthday brunch with Leticia who I have known for several years now and have never told about my transgender identity. We are simply two ladies who know each other and overlap sporadically which works for both of us.

My hesitation comes not from trying to deceive anyone but more from the lack of urge I feel. I just want to remain a woman rather than explaining to a 60-year-old Latina why I chose not to tell her something this big for so long. Plus we are more close acquaintances than good friends anyway. Things were more successful than I planned and as time went on it became more and more difficult to spill the beans. Everything I tell her about myself is completely true except I reverse an ex-wife with an ex-husband.

I met Leticia during a phase in my transgender journey where I was testing my ability to pass as a cisgender woman and our overlaps helped convince me that this was not only possible but successful. Having lunch one day with her and her three sisters really sealed the deal for me.

Most recently Dr. Morris confirmed for me that I have reached a stage where my presentation is better than good, and I need not fear any social setting for fear of being outed. Not that being outed is bad in any way but I prefer to keep that option for myself rather than have it thrust upon me.

Image result for two women having lunch


  1. As I like to say: You can fool some of the people all of the time, and you can fool all of the people some of the time. But, if you're just trying to fool people, YOU are the FOOL.

    I just refer to my wife as my spouse. If she should become my ex-spouse (which I doubt would ever happen - 46 years and counting), I would simply say "ex". Anyway, there is no need to out yourself to anyone unless you might be considering a sexual relationship. (Of course, in my case, outing myself to my wife took sex out of consideration)

    1. I'm glad that there is no "ex" in your situation Connie. Good for you! :)

  2. I have reached an interesting point in my transition. I am a lawyer. Since coming out in July I have disclosed the fact I am transgender to every new client. So far no one has cared-at all. After three months, and passing well, clients are now wondering why I am telling them this information at all. Now it seems irrelevant and like it is too much personal information. I think I will shift to not telling new clients going forward, but if asked, tell them the truth. I never thought I would reach this point.

    1. As you approach full closure, there is no longer a need for full disclosure?

      My, oh my,
      An outing, once
      Would make me cry.
      Now, I find, by and by,
      It's all become just

  3. There is no "ex",
    There is no sex.
    Is so complex

  4. This so great Marcia it's like its become a non issue which is wonderful. Good for you!!


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