Skip to main content

the animas

What is your male self versus your female self? What does it mean? I used to think I understood the difference but I no longer do.

When we point to this we are talking about behavioral traits. In other words, how we present which includes dressing and modes of expression giving others clues about what gender we are. But how do we feel inside is the most important question which is entirely independent to those visual cues.

This is the part transgender people need to get right and decide who they are.

That video of a young semi closeted trans person I featured showed us how someone can refer to gender only in external terms; one presents one way or another except one isn't more male or female because of just clothing. That journey must be made internally.

I was much more like her when younger but as I have aged there is less separation between the animas (as Jung would probably refer to them). My male and female are fusing into one entity I am happier with each passing day and I no longer separate them in my mind based strictly on sartorial presentation.

I guess what I am also saying as a caveat is that I too thought I knew who I was at 25 but I was wrong.




Comments

  1. My separation of self was never really sartorial, but it's often been satirical. :-) Really, though, there is so much irony in this gender identity business; much too serious to never have laughed about it. The one thing that has definitely been a part of who I am throughout is that I am a smart ass...not a bad-looking ass either, if I do say so myself. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks for always adding a bit of levity to all this Connie :)

      Delete
  2. When I started blogging, I referred to my maleness in terms of facade which had evolved to protect me from my true nature. It was the year before, when I began stage acting, it became clear to me that my whole life up to that point had been just that; an act.
    Acting all the time was like hitting myself with a hammer. It felt so good to stop, and it felt like me; a woman.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can tell how happy you are from reading your blog now but also from interacting with you in person. We all need to be on the outside who we are on the inside

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

my last post

This will be my last blog post.

When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.

With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are …

epilogue

While this blog is most definitely over, I wanted to explain that part of the reason is that it was getting in the way of writing my next book called "Notes, Essays and Short Stories from the North" which will combine philosophy, trans issues, my observations on life, some short fiction and things that have happened to me over my life and continue to (both trans related and not).

When it is complete I will post the news here and will be happy to send you a free copy upon request in either PDF or eBook format. All I ask is that you provide me with some feedback once you're done reading it.

I'm only in the early stages so it will be a while.

Be well all of you....

sample pages...
















love of self

If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…