Many of us lead lives trying to be someone else. Perhaps we choose the profession that our parents wanted for us or we married according to expectation but not love. Whatever your particular situation was, you suffered under the yolk of duty and stayed far from the core of what brings you peace and contentment.
As I am discovering my own identity, I am finding a calmness in my soul that I didn't quite possess before. The secret seems to lie in wiping out all the programming and go back and examine the inner workings of what truly makes you tick. Sure, life is full of compromises and obligations except that who you are on the inside is not negotiable. Other people don't do that so why should we trans people?
Finding your identity is a singularly personal journey and doesn't lie in copying someone else's. What others have done is for their own fulfillment and following a path that isn't for you only risks disappointment.
A big part of this journey for me was tapping into a feminine essence which was hard wired. My refusal to embrace it fully made me less than a whole person because you cannot possibly be whole without welcoming every aspect of what makes you a unique individual.
That being said, am I glad my children aren't gender dysphoric? I'd be lying if I said I wasn't.