For example, when I was living inside my relationships I couldn’t see their patterns as clearly until I was afforded the perspective that hindsight offers. There is also the added challenge of the other mind of a partner which operates on its own filter and window on the world. We see the other person through our eyes and imagine how they might see us but that is fiction for their perspective is as unique as our own.
It is now even more fascinating to me how a bond which works for the benefit of both equally is possible given the inherent inequity of life. The delicate balance of emotions and things left unsaid we wish we had or things we shouldn’t have are left to linger in our minds long after the experience is over.
We are often inclined to operate on automatic pilot when what is called for is to stop and reflect at intervals to express our exact feelings to the other.