Many trans people don't realize that we are not born the same as other people and trying to be like them doesn't work for us. Our failure is in thinking that we can fit a square peg into a round hole instead of embracing our natures. In that sense, succumbing isn't failing but rather awakening to a reality that is not easily accepted because you've been raised and conditioned to reject it from the moment you are born.
Hence, I don't view my attempts to fit in as failures but as lessons which brought me here and gave me the calluses I needed to grapple with the difficulties of this life. By comparison I can now handle challenges far easier because I have already faced much bigger ones and survived.
From a very young age, my secret life of a girl was kept to the safety of locked doors and empty houses. Except that hiding gets you nowhere except feeling that you are somehow less than whole and no one deserves to feel like that.