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Certain forms of masculinity can be toxic especially in the west where a monochromatic view of what it means to be male used to be the norm. The Marlboro man was perhaps one of the best exaggerated archetypes of this.

American rugged individualism created a stereotype for men that contrasted sharply against a perceived effete European intellectualism which wasn't needed and hence not celebrated in this fledgling new frontier.

Even to this day there seems to be an anti-intellectualism to American male culture particularly among rural Republicans. As a result, the American aesthetic for manliness continues for some to be a cartoon of a man whose primary features are to celebrate ruggedness and aggressivity; the man who takes control and commands attention. This is of course a fallacy but it served as a model ideal that would haunt men for many decades.

I have noticed that this has begun to change with today's youth and both women and men are helping to break that toxicity.

My father wasn't permitted to cry when he was young and expressing any form of weakness was prohibited. The psychological pressure of having to adhere to rules that didn't contribute to the emotional health of males didn't do generations of them any favors.


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With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

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When it is complete I will post the news here and will be happy to send you a free copy upon request in either PDF or eBook format. All I ask is that you provide me with some feedback once you're done reading it.

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Be well all of you....

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If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

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Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…