Skip to main content

leaving the cynic behind

I observe people differently at my age and I can't help but introduce a kind of jadedness into the exercise. As we live longer we recognize certain patterns in people. Their insecurities are more easy to detect and their weaknesses almost worn like a badge.

This is not meant to be as much a putdown as it sounds. Perhaps it is fatigue of dealing with so many characters over the years; I dont know.

When I was younger there were less discernible patterns to human behavior because I hadn't yet absorbed enough of the world. Now it appears that abundant familiarity with personality types has me feeling that I have almost seen too much. There is a commonality to people which binds us together but then the branches which grow from that root in terms of life experience, separate us.

I am trying to stay patient with the archetypes I do not favor because I know there are redeeming qualities in all of us, but then those similar patterns show their face and threaten to unravel that patience.

Even the possibility of love seems more remote than ever as I attempt to leave this sense of cynicism behind. I often wonder, when reflecting on the misfires of others as well as my own, whether it's a worthwhile venture at all and in particular for a trans person.




Comments

  1. There are no promises in life, of course. I was in a similar mood when I accepted that a life without denial spent alone would suit me just fine. Fate and love intervened.
    I wish you and others who tread our path the same.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

how times change

How times have changed.

Whereas transition was something not to even contemplate for us, here is a young trans person who felt the opposite pressure. She looks and sounds extremely passable but decided it wasn't for her despite the social media presence of young transitioners potentially inspiring her to.

We are all different and I happen to think she's rather a smart cookie as well...


indoctrination

As transgender people, organized religion hasn't really been our friend however on the other hand it has often had little to do with true spirituality. I needed to learn this over time and much of what I was taught growing up was steeped in the judgmental superstition of society instead of what some creator would demand of me.

Regardless of your belief system, you are a child of the universe and have been endowed with uniqueness and goodness of spirit. You have probably never wished anyone ill will and you have tried your best to live within the absurd coordinate system of humanity. Yet somehow belonging to the LGBT community was entirely your fault.

As I have grown older this inherent irrationality became increasingly evident to me. I knew I was a fundamentally good person and yet I was different in a way which was not of my choosing. Hence with this comprehension my self appreciation and esteem grew in proportion.

Religion for me today seems forever trapped in the misinterpretat…

let's please read carefully

This post is prompted by a recent comment I received to one of my older posts and I wanted to address it.

I used to wonder why some transgender people accepted Blanchard’s work until I think I figured out why: they may not have examined it closely enough. They would experience cross gender arousal and then accept it was Autogynephilia without properly understanding what the term meant and what the theory said: it is an invented sexual “illness” which makes people transition. In other words, it is the arousal itself which causes this desire and not a pre-existing gender identity which does not align with birth sex. Of course, Blanchard has no explanation for the origin of his proposed “illness” only that it is a form of sexual deviance.

My counter proposal? we transition despite this arousal. In other words, the transgender identity is pre-existing and the arousal is the result of the mismatching of burgeoning sexual feelings towards females and this misaligned identity; it is not per…