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according to plan

To some extent we are all damaged goods. The sum of our experiences has scarred us in a way that makes us weary and cautious and I know that has happened to me. This is the darker side of being older and having walked through a few mine fields.

The flip side of course is that we have learned to not get burned as easily but we have been left with some cynicism that we would do well to rid ourselves of. The way to walk back from this is to realize that everyone has it less than perfect and our lives were never meant to be clean cut.

Life is naturally messy, and we realize this more as we get older. The promise of a future that we had planned didn’t work out for many of us and perhaps careers or marriages didn’t pan out. But in the wake of that imperfection is where we find our salvation because that removes the pressure from our shoulders. There are often so many variables conspiring to upset our plans working out that we should be more amazed when they do.

It’s perhaps more realistic to not count on a firm strategy and see life as a flowing river we are immersed in. We will be carried along in its flow and have only a certain amount of impact on what shore we land on. The more that knowledge sinks in, the more we will be satisfied with an outcome that wasn’t supposed to be part of the original script we had envisioned.

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love of self

If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…