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the element of surprise

I already know the answer to this question but how many of you have lived lives which to date aligned with expectation? It should be a small minority.

Most of us have been surprised with both pleasant and unpleasant events which have served as milestones for the next segment of our journeys. We have seen deaths, divorces, job losses but also financial windfalls, wonderful friendships made from unexpected incidents and children born who were perhaps not planned but gave us a sense of purpose.

Those events were instrumental in giving us pause or signaled a new entry point into a side road we had never considered taking. Life would have been boring without them because even those lumps we took have helped forge our characters and steel our resolve to grow as humans.

It is a shame that most of the revelation of the value of surprise is discovered later in life rather than at the outset; at least this was the case for me. I have for some time now reflected on the significance of the unplanned and its ability to bring us outside a world of both comfort and trepidation. That can bring insight and recognition of our insignificance when measured against the vast universe we inhabit. In turn, this brings me solace when I realize I don't need to achieve greatness to be truly content.

In my book, a little more risk taking is perhaps called for.


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No, I don't mind

When Halle and I last got together the woman serving us said:

"I can't wait to get home and take off my bra you know what I mean ladies?"

Arguably the statement wasn't the most elegant thing to say to perfect strangers but it made me reflect.

The thing is I don't mind wearing a bra because it is one more reminder that I am trans. Feeling my breast forms pressed up against my skin and cupped within the confines of my bra makes me comfortable and is another piece which contributes towards soothing my gender dysphoria.

There are days when the combination of the feel of my bra and forms, the pull of my dangly earrings and the feel of my feet in heels is a powerful combination which feeds my soul. I used to think this was me fooling myself until I finally admitted that my identity is being affirmed through these accoutrements. They are like badges that allow me to be addressed and treated in the manner I want; like a woman.

The gender identity of cis people is fed in …