Skip to main content

a normal existence

Do I need to destroy the "he" to celebrate the "she"? This was the fundamental question which needed answering and which would dictate whether I would transition or not. In the end, the answer turned out be no.

The mulling over of a transition didn't take nearly as long as the transgender self acceptance part did; certainly less than a year. I realised that I didn't despise my physical body and simply wanted to give life to the woman living within me. Even if the little girl I might once have aspired to be was gone, she was going to live.

That sealed the deal for me and made me relax into the existence I lead today. It is not for everyone but then I am not everyone; I am Joanna.

That existential realization must cement itself to your core and only then will you rest easy. It is the same type of resolve which occurs to people who know in their bones they must transition.

Figure this out and watch your body and your mind relax into a normal existence with the caveat that you must be proud of the being you are.


Popular posts from this blog

how times change

How times have changed.

Whereas transition was something not to even contemplate for us, here is a young trans person who felt the opposite pressure. She looks and sounds extremely passable but decided it wasn't for her despite the social media presence of young transitioners potentially inspiring her to.

We are all different and I happen to think she's rather a smart cookie as well...


As transgender people, organized religion hasn't really been our friend however on the other hand it has often had little to do with true spirituality. I needed to learn this over time and much of what I was taught growing up was steeped in the judgmental superstition of society instead of what some creator would demand of me.

Regardless of your belief system, you are a child of the universe and have been endowed with uniqueness and goodness of spirit. You have probably never wished anyone ill will and you have tried your best to live within the absurd coordinate system of humanity. Yet somehow belonging to the LGBT community was entirely your fault.

As I have grown older this inherent irrationality became increasingly evident to me. I knew I was a fundamentally good person and yet I was different in a way which was not of my choosing. Hence with this comprehension my self appreciation and esteem grew in proportion.

Religion for me today seems forever trapped in the misinterpretat…

let's please read carefully

This post is prompted by a recent comment I received to one of my older posts and I wanted to address it.

I used to wonder why some transgender people accepted Blanchard’s work until I think I figured out why: they may not have examined it closely enough. They would experience cross gender arousal and then accept it was Autogynephilia without properly understanding what the term meant and what the theory said: it is an invented sexual “illness” which makes people transition. In other words, it is the arousal itself which causes this desire and not a pre-existing gender identity which does not align with birth sex. Of course, Blanchard has no explanation for the origin of his proposed “illness” only that it is a form of sexual deviance.

My counter proposal? we transition despite this arousal. In other words, the transgender identity is pre-existing and the arousal is the result of the mismatching of burgeoning sexual feelings towards females and this misaligned identity; it is not per…