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as we age

Linda Coleman read my book and provided some wonderful feedback. Her email gave me some food for thought in that she suggested that I could have added a chapter on transgender aging and I indeed I will probably do so in the next edition.

We do indeed change over time and it can be dramatic.

At first there is an almost teenage-like fascination with the clothing but as we mature the feelings deepen and it is about the warmth of experiencing life as our core gender. We undergo a deeply profound metamorphosis which is more about internal identification than what we have on our bodies. The clothing then becomes just an outward manifestation of that joy rather than it's own reward. But we are not brought up as girls and hence must suffer our pubescent prat falls which will happen chronologically later than for a biological female. Once that phase is over we will be left with the adult transgender individual who is certain of who they are.

The options are greater today than ever which can add to our dilemma but I still prefer today over the past because the timeline and the method of treatment are both of our choosing with plenty of information at our disposal. We get to find our own path rather than have choices made for us by a society who, in the not too distant past, would have been even more hostile than they are today.

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No, I don't mind

When Halle and I last got together the woman serving us said:

"I can't wait to get home and take off my bra you know what I mean ladies?"

Arguably the statement wasn't the most elegant thing to say to perfect strangers but it made me reflect.

The thing is I don't mind wearing a bra because it is one more reminder that I am trans. Feeling my breast forms pressed up against my skin and cupped within the confines of my bra makes me comfortable and is another piece which contributes towards soothing my gender dysphoria.

There are days when the combination of the feel of my bra and forms, the pull of my dangly earrings and the feel of my feet in heels is a powerful combination which feeds my soul. I used to think this was me fooling myself until I finally admitted that my identity is being affirmed through these accoutrements. They are like badges that allow me to be addressed and treated in the manner I want; like a woman.

The gender identity of cis people is fed in …