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composure

Besides improving my makeup and dressing skills the single biggest change I made was to work on body language. This is so pivotally important that it cannot be overstated and makes the difference between looking like a guy in a dress versus a dignified lady.

I already had it in me to behave and move the way I wanted, but I had trouble giving myself permission to do so. After all, there were decades of Pavlovian training working against me plus my own fear of being clocked. But it wasn’t until I relaxed and just let myself be the person I wanted to be, that things fell into place. I know exactly what to do now in each presentation to the point that both have become instinctive and I don’t need to even think about it.

Presenting in public in any sort of situation is scary at first and if you have never done it before it can appear daunting, but like everything else it takes practice which in our case is mostly about removing hang-ups rooted in unwarranted fear. Thinking that everyone is looking at you is the one sure way of making sure that they do. I can remember over the years how nervous I was and how stiff my body became to the detriment of what I was trying to do. However, once I realized that I just needed to be myself and that I wasn’t trying to pretend to be someone else, everything worked marvelously well.

There is no social setting that I won’t go to now as Joanna and that recent presentation in front of hundreds of people proved to me how far I have come in my journey. I scanned the crowd for a single furled brow and none were to be found.

Like I have said here before on a number of occasions: if I can do it then so can you.

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One transgender woman's take on AGP

This entry from the transhealth website dates back to 2001 and it offers a very nice dissection of the now mostly debunked but still controversial AGP theory and how this transgender woman could care two cents about it. People who have been trying to marginalize the experience of gynephilic transwomen have pushed for the stigmatizing idea that they are actually perverted men.

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"About a year ago I was reading on Dr. Anne Lawrence’s site about a new theory of the origin of trans called “autogynephilia.” This theory asserts that many trans women—and transsexual women in particular—desire reassignment surgery because they are eroticizing the feminization of their bodies.

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