Skip to main content

neither seen or heard

I know my value and I hope you know yours too.

It wasn’t all that long ago that I was struggling with the idea that measuring up to the right standard meant not being transgender and I expended much effort in minimizing as much as possible its footprint in my life. I would go about sparing everyone around me as if I were some sort of pariah and it did me absolutely no good. As a result my life became more complicated than it needed to be.

In retrospect, I am saddened by this but there is nothing I can do about it now. All I can do is resolve to live the rest of my life with full respect for the person I am and decide who is worthy of my time and attention. Thinking that I would be lucky to have someone tolerate me is no longer even on my radar, although it was something I once aimed for as its own reward.

It is unfortunate that this is a phase many of us go through until we come to the realization that there is nothing wrong with us instead of something amiss with the world which surrounds. Until that last step of liberation is taken we will never be quite right in our skin. Most people don’t think less of themselves because of their gender and the mere fact that we aren’t part of the majority should have no bearing on our value as people.

It is only when this reality finally sinks in that we will truly become free.

Image result for know your value

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

my last post

This will be my last post.

When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.

With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are very …

epilogue

While this blog is most definitely over, I wanted to explain that part of the reason is that it was getting in the way of writing my next book called "Notes, Essays and Short Stories from the North" which will combine philosophy, trans issues, my observations on life, some short fiction and things that have happened to me over my life and continue to (both trans related and not).

When it is complete I will post the news here and will be happy to send you a free copy upon request in either PDF or eBook format. All I ask is that you provide me with some feedback once you're done reading it.

I'm only in the early stages so it will be a while.

Be well all of you....

sample pages...
















No, I don't mind

When Halle and I last got together the woman serving us said:

"I can't wait to get home and take off my bra you know what I mean ladies?"

Arguably the statement wasn't the most elegant thing to say to perfect strangers but it made me reflect.

The thing is I don't mind wearing a bra because it is one more reminder that I am trans. Feeling my breast forms pressed up against my skin and cupped within the confines of my bra makes me comfortable and is another piece which contributes towards soothing my gender dysphoria.

There are days when the combination of the feel of my bra and forms, the pull of my dangly earrings and the feel of my feet in heels is a powerful combination which feeds my soul. I used to think this was me fooling myself until I finally admitted that my identity is being affirmed through these accoutrements. They are like badges that allow me to be addressed and treated in the manner I want; like a woman.

The gender identity of cis people is fed in …