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the "this is the way your life is" school

I am still getting used to this brave new world of education and work.

When I started my career 30 years ago, people graduated with a single-mindedness that saw them end up in companies (sometimes the same one for their entire career) and work until age 65 when they could finally gain their freedom. Things were relatively stable with no switching path in mid stream or taking sabbatical breaks.

Today things are different, and with more uncertain expectations about career choices, these young people are staying in school longer or conversely graduating and going it alone with homespun businesses rather than opt for a large firm which no longer guarantees gainful employment.

When my son and the doctor decided it might be best for him to take a medical leave, my heart skipped a beat because I was used to the idea of just getting on with things. But then I think about the safe choices I made and realize that isn't necessarily the right way to go. Being true to yourself in every way while finding some compromise to make a living is what I favor today. However, I made my choices and am left with the idea of rebranding myself late in life so I can live more honestly going forward.

I would rather see my kids be more fulfilled in their profession than I was and, while I have no major regrets, I know I am a victim of the "this is the way your life is" school of thought.

Pity.


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love of self

If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…