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It is extremely painful to break up with someone you think you know but then rarely do we leave ourselves completely vulnerable to be understood by another being.

I am fascinated by how we manage to obfuscate and live at a pragmatic surface level without letting someone truly in and it seems that this journey is very rarely made by most couples. To let someone really know you requires exposing the soft underbelly of what makes us function which includes many of the hurts and ills we carry around in our baggage. That requires courage because it can be seen by some as divulging a weak spot that can be used against them.

I must admit to not truly understanding relationships but in my mind's eye I see it as a deep connection borne out of a trust which makes every effort not to injure and uphold the dignity of the other. This is a wiring together of two minds which have decided to put down their weapons and trust that they will not be gored by the other.

From my observation, most people don't dare to ever go there because there is too much risk and instead live at a level of insufficient depth. But to build something worthwhile you need to risk pain and suffering because this is how intimacy is built.

The couple that never argues is the one I am most suspicious of because, in its absence, there cannot possibly be the required level of investment.


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