The relationships failed primarily for other reasons and yet I know that living more openly and honestly would have helped me.
I won't ever again entertain the idea of trying to get around who I am and what is helping is my nonexistent appetite for reentering those courtship waters which allows for my main focus to be an identity which is not up for negotiation. In fact no one's should ever be which is something I learned the hard way over my life.
When we are still embroiled in trying to fit in rather than being our true selves, we might be tempted to think we can have both a relationship as well as authenticity. But sitting on the other side of that fence today, I can clearly see that, most of the time, the answer is no.