There is no handbook for relationships just as there isn’t one for rearing children. You muddle your way through in the dark trying to do your best not to make a critical mistake and hope that the model you witnessed in your own parents helps you avoid the inherent pitfalls of life.
I have remade everything and have concluded that the road for a trans person is perhaps best walked on one’s own; unless of course a precious gift falls naturally into your lap without you looking. Identity is not something one can negotiate away because it is such an intrinsic part of the wiring; you couldn’t do it even if you wanted to. It is best to know yourself inside out before attempting to be with another and this is what I tell my children. I recommend they settle for a best friend who understands and appreciates them while recognizing that we are all imperfect creatures who will err on a constant basis. That person should also recognize that we are all self-contained beings who can become stifled in an environment of mistrust.
There should be a course given on how to choose something so important and yet we sometimes base ourselves on little more than chemistry that can be spent like a candle.