I was working hard to ignore the problem and my occasional giving in to temptation was met with guilt and shame rather than embracing; this was particularly true after puberty. We were too young to understand what was happening and, to make things worse, we had no information to go on. I don't think I could have tried harder and every succumbing to temptation was ultimately attributed to another failure of my character.
It is not until we understand our transgender nature that we learn to attribute our behaviour to our normal state rather than a weakness to be corrected. We were fooled by the ability of others to lead lives where sex and gender aligned. If they could be that way why couldn't we?
Today I understand deep within my bones that I am transsexual and it is no longer a badge of shame but merely a fact of biology. It is not a compulsion to align oneself to a reality that was chosen for me before I was even born. How I grapple with that knowledge is up to me and no solution I choose will be perfect because real life isn't.
The most important aspect in all this is the relief that comes from knowing that we don't suffer from a lack of character and, if anything, should be commended for gracefully dealing with the challenges we face everyday in a world that struggles to comprehend us even as we sometimes struggle to comprehend ourselves.