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distractions

I survived those early years by concentrating all my energy on my art and my music. It is what allowed me to focus my attention away from my gender issues. I did that for many years until I could do it no longer and hiding wasn't an option anymore.

We all have distractions and many work for a long while. Some transsexuals go through hyper masculine phases to avoid staring straight into their feminine natures. It is another way to avoid the truth.

I am well past the avoidance phase of my life and now look straight into the mirror and know who I see and it has given me great confidence. I don't think we help ourselves through avoidance because part of who we are must be hidden away even from ourselves. That requires great energy and it is painful.

I could have done this sooner but I suppose I wasn't ready and now every year sees a new discovery about myself I dared not have explored because of fear of who I might be.

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Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are …

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Be well all of you....

sample pages...
















love of self

If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…