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Self reliance

Self reliance is important and I've had to hone mine over my life. Yes, I had a good head start from parents who insisted that life is hard and that I was going to have to rely on myself to push things forward. I had to be my own problem solver and not count on anyone else for help. I also became a problem solver for others all the while ignoring my own major issue.

Part of that reasoning was rooted in the reality that I was trans and no one would want to touch that with a ten foot pole.

That self reliance guides me now and has been bolstered by a defiance that says "if you dont like it then look elsewhere". Even members of my family who are too uncomfortable with who I am will increasingly not get the benefit of me presenting in a way that makes them feel better but does nothing for me. We trans people are all about accommodation and we spare others because we have always understood that we don't fit in. Hence we bend until we almost break but I am through with that.

Self reliance got me here and it is what will get me through the rest of my life.


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If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…