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I have no idea

What does it mean to be with someone? I have thought a lot about this over the last few years.

We cannot see inside the mind of another person and their motivation cannot be deciphered with any certainty. Is their connection to you tinged with fear of being alone? Do they have unresolved parental issues? Is the economics part of the equation keeping the relationship viable?

We cannot understand the psychological elements that drive another person and our interplay is affected by a unique formula that we setup at the outset which can be very hard to further refine. If we sense trepidation of going too deep into their psyche, the pushback can cement us into an uneasy experience which stunts the development of a deeper connection. As a result, our relationship stays at a level of the mundane and daily experience which avoids the spiritual bond we as humans secretly crave.

In my estimation maybe 25% of relationships attain deep levels of connection with the rest hobbling along at various states of dysfunction because we are human and frail and because true intimacy requires the courage of exposing the soft underbelly of true vulnerability.

What does it mean to truly be with someone? I have no idea.

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No, I don't mind

When Halle and I last got together the woman serving us said:

"I can't wait to get home and take off my bra you know what I mean ladies?"

Arguably the statement wasn't the most elegant thing to say to perfect strangers but it made me reflect.

The thing is I don't mind wearing a bra because it is one more reminder that I am trans. Feeling my breast forms pressed up against my skin and cupped within the confines of my bra makes me comfortable and is another piece which contributes towards soothing my gender dysphoria.

There are days when the combination of the feel of my bra and forms, the pull of my dangly earrings and the feel of my feet in heels is a powerful combination which feeds my soul. I used to think this was me fooling myself until I finally admitted that my identity is being affirmed through these accoutrements. They are like badges that allow me to be addressed and treated in the manner I want; like a woman.

The gender identity of cis people is fed in …