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my last post

This will be my last post.

When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.

With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are very much in our infancy on the scientific front which will become crystal clear in twenty years time.

My last flurry of posting was perhaps my attempt to expend the last bits of rocket fuel left in the tank and in so doing I realized I had no aims to turn this into a fashion, lifestyle, life play-by-play or even a political blog (as much as I enjoy the latter).

What I do with my life going forward is still not completely clear but my philosophy is going to be live one day at a time and adapt to what life brings me with what will hopefully be some degree of panache and an openness to still learn. Whether Joanna ultimately succeeds in living 24/7 is still open for more reflection but then I am and always have been her. From my earliest memory there was a girl there who wanted to be heard and acknowledged and for a number of years she has been getting that opportunity to manifest herself and drink a little from the elixir of life.

My only counsel to you is to find your true "self" and let that nature make it's way to the surface. Do not live your life wondering "what if" and dig deep to discover who you really are inside. Find people who recognize and appreciate that soul and hold on to them as tightly as you can.

Even if I am done with this format this blog will stay online and you can still contact me through the links on the right. My writing will now turn to notes and essays which will most likely find their way into another book with a decidedly philosophical bent. Thank you to all who have read and found some value in my words and I will simply end not by saying goodbye but rather farewell for now.

Comments

  1. All the best to you. Thank you for sharing your life's journey with others who are along a similar path.

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  2. Your intellect, insight, and depth of writing will be missed. Reading your blog has been one of the highlights of my day. Meeting you and sharing was a wonderful event that I will forever cherish. Thank you for that. Joanna, all the best to you in your life's escapes. Much success.
    Fellow blogger - Rhonda

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    Replies
    1. Thank my friend Rhonda the feeling is mutual

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  3. Should I be flattered that you were so sure I would talk you out of this that you didn't mentioned it yesterday?? But seriously, I would have insisted you have another full cup of coffee to mention that we never say never... if we learn anything from our life as a trans-person, it is never say never!

    We will talk young lady.
    Mother .
    .. Love you!

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    Replies
    1. Yes you should indeed be flattered Halle but I am done in this format for sure. 😚

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  4. Your intellect is refreshing. Your intuition guidance is your spiritual gift for all to see. Thank you!

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  5. Thanks for the blog and the ride-along. It helped me reflect on life, and I do hope we stay in touch. You have my e-mail.

    All the best going forward! Ever forward!

    -Caryn

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Caryn and thanks for your amazing commentary. I fully expect that visit next year!

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  6. I started reading your blog almost five years ago as I was finally starting to come to grips with acknowledging that I am transgender. I was consumed with fear, anxiety, and yes, shame. Your blog was a light in the darkness for me.

    About three (two?) years ago you wrote that you were making plans to stop your posting. I remember feeling kind of panicky afraid of losing your voice of reason. I recall encouraging you to continue and was very grateful that you did.

    Now, I'm as transitioned as transitioned can be (I wish we had a better word for this) living my life authentically. You certainly played a part in helping me find and become myself and I thank you.

    That said, never say never that you'll permanently stop posting. If I was a bettin' gal I'd lay odds that we'll hear back from you again!

    Best wishes,

    Emma

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  7. This is bad news! Yours is one blog that I could count on for intelligent discussions of the topics that matter to our community. But, believe me, I understand and sympathize with you. Best Wishes, Joanna - I will miss you.

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  8. While my perspective is different than Stana's, I will say (more or less) what I told her when she, for a brief period, stopped her blog. It is surely your decision but it is one that saddens me. Your blog, along with Stana's, are the two I most value as there are challenging thought throughout. It is your life and I won't tell you what to do but I will miss you very much. Maybe you could occasionally (monthly?) let us know how you are doing because, while we have never met in person, we care about you!

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  9. Your blog has been a beacon for me in my search for my true self. I will sorely miss the intelligence, thoughtful insights and guidance. Most of all I will miss hearing from you regularly. I feel like you are an important person in my life though we have ever met. Thank you for everything. Best wishes as you continue your growth adventure.

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    1. Thank you Paula. Just keep reflecting about who you are and remove all the baggage you have collected over your life. As the thought process becomes more sharply defined things will move along on their own. Trust yourself.

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  10. Your blog is, in part, a means of expressing your freedom. As you should be free to present as you choose you should also be free to post as you choose and as the muse inspires. It is nice that you will keep it up but please do not hesitate to post when the mood dictates that you have something to say...even if it is a simple recount of a day out and about.
    I truly appreciate that you may need the freedom of ridding yourself of the day to day task of creating a post out of thin air.

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    Replies
    1. thanks for your input Pat and will keep that in mind :)

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