Skip to main content


As a trans person who's run the gamut from early youth outings to where I am now, I can almost tell what people are thinking by the kind of looks I have gotten over the years. In the early days, I might get the sly smirk or the beady eyed stare which signified I had been read as an imposter. That was before I had any self confidence and would carry myself as a terrified husk of a person. 

Today I know I am mostly being read as a cis woman or sometimes perhaps a transitioned trans person just by the stark contrast of change in the looks I get; or perhaps I should say the lack thereof.

What has changed? Well mostly it's about exuding confidence that you know who you are on the inside. Yes, there was some work on voice, mannerisms, gesturing and so forth but once I permitted myself to indulge in these changes, they came fairly effortlessly and naturally. What was underneath the surface was allowed to be seen.

The other important aspect is not caring one whit whether you are being looked at. Always thinking that it's because you've been read is perhaps a mistake and I've had many women come up to me and tell me they wish they were my height and so, I no longer assume anything.

Just live.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

One transgender woman's take on AGP

This entry from the transhealth website dates back to 2001 and it offers a very nice dissection of the now mostly debunked but still controversial AGP theory and how this transgender woman could care two cents about it. People who have been trying to marginalize the experience of gynephilic transwomen have pushed for the stigmatizing idea that they are actually perverted men. Well this soul, who couldn't give a hoot either way, isn't buying any of it and her frankness at times had me chuckling to myself as I read her posting. If we ever met I would give her a hug for seeing through the BS but mostly for being herself: "About a year ago I was reading on Dr. Anne Lawrence’s site about a new theory of the origin of trans called “autogynephilia.” This theory asserts that many trans women—and transsexual women in particular—desire reassignment surgery because they are eroticizing the feminization of their bodies. The first thing that struck me about it, of course, was t


While this blog is most definitely over, I wanted to explain that part of the reason is that it was getting in the way of writing my next book called "Notes, Essays and Short Stories from the North" which will combine philosophy, trans issues, my observations on life, some short fiction and things that have happened to me over my life and continue to (both trans related and not). When it is complete I will post the news here and will be happy to send you a free copy upon request in either PDF or eBook format. All I ask is that you provide me with some feedback once you're done reading it. I'm only in the early stages so it will be a while. Be well all of you.... sample pages...

my last post

This will be my last blog post. When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion. With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in. Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We