Cisgender women of my generation were just as indoctrinated as cisgender men and hence when it came to gender roles they were hard pressed to process what happened when they unwittingly married a trans person. That divulging of information could have been akin to getting hit by a freight train and I have nothing but sympathy for them because I have often imagined the roles being reversed and how I would handle it. It must have been even harder when that information was divulged well into the marriage and paralleled the self discovery of the trans person themselves.
That was my scenario.This is why I feel that trans people are better off on their own unless they happen upon someone who loves them fully for who they are; no preconditions on identity. Plus, if the trans person is more on the transsexual side of the spectrum, there could be serious psychological consequences to suppression. Here, man-loving (androphilic) transsexuals who are aligned in both identity and sexual orientation can avoid this conflict although there can be other problems.
I have known of too many sad stories and even when the information is divulged early on there are invariably issues later on which put a massive strain on the relationship. If you are one of the lucky ones I am more than overjoyed for you and you must undoubtedly realize that you are in very select company.