Many if not most trans-femimine people go through their bravado stage where they deny their identity and immerse themselves into masculine pursuits or professions. Some transsexuals join the army to distance themselves from their thoughts as much as possible only to discover later that there is no escaping who you are.I went through my own denial process and it took decades to finally shed the mask. I recall the last gender therapist I saw telling me most of her patients were the same.
Living as I do would have been entirely inconceivable at one time and yet today it feels entirely natural. Because once the internal battle was waged there was nowhere else to go but become oneself.