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Living as honestly as we dare

Twice now I have seen what it is like living in a partnership while almost completely (the first time) and partly (the second time) suppressing my identity. I now know that living authentically to be the most favorable option which is something you cannot be certain about until you have seen both sides.

Breakups are brutal affairs which leave deep scars and as much as I had not planned to be in that situation ever again, the last one left me in the position of rebuilding my life while promising to never to enter a relationship again. That oath is what allowed this long period of solitude to repair my psyche and see what life could be like living as honestly as I dared.

It is very rare when trans people are in a situation where compromise is completely off the table, but I have realized that an identity cannot and should not be negotiated away. Hence as I was licking my wounds, I was able to experiment and treat my gender dysphoria as a priority rather than a secondary thing which is something I had never done before. As a result, the last few years have been the most honest of my life.

There are no perfect life scenarios for anyone and even people who aren’t trans struggle to hold their partnerships together. Trans people just have one more wrinkle to add to the mix which only complicates matters further. So while living on one’s own may not be the picture of perfection there is something truly gratifying about the ability to live so honestly.

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