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Love and the Trans Person

This is a tough one because how can you love someone else if they or you don't love who you fully are?

My views on this subject have evolved significantly over the years to the point where I believe strongly you must be truly yourself before being able to accept or give love which necessarily means you shouldn't be merely tolerated but instead fully embraced by your partner. In absence of that, it is my opinion that it is infinitely superior to be alone and proud of one's identity to being halfheartedly accompanied by another who doesn't really get you or is in any way perturbed by who you really are.

Settling for anything less, is selling yourself short and trying to fit yourself into a box to please someone else may feel right, but I believe it to ultimately be a recipe for long term dissatisfaction. Them telling you they are fine with you being trans as long as they don't see it is not really acceptance, it's more like avoidance. Of course that is their right, but then so is your right to look elsewhere or, better still, to not look at all.

Your acceptance of conditional love provided you fit into the right template may be understandable because the partner may desire someone "normal". However this arrangement usually means the trans person gets the short end of the stick. If conventional is what they are looking for then that is what they should seek as there is a veritable plethora of choice in that department equating to roughly 99% of the male born population.

Also remember that it is not you who finds true love; it finds you. But even if it never does, then at least love yourself as you were made because that is a prerequisite to a truly honest and happy existence.

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While this blog is most definitely over, I wanted to explain that part of the reason is that it was getting in the way of writing my next book called "Notes, Essays and Short Stories from the North" which will combine philosophy, trans issues, my observations on life, some short fiction and things that have happened to me over my life and continue to (both trans related and not).

When it is complete I will post the news here and will be happy to send you a free copy upon request in either PDF or eBook format. All I ask is that you provide me with some feedback once you're done reading it.

I'm only in the early stages so it will be a while.

Be well all of you....

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If we ever met I would give her a hug for seeing through the BS but mostly for being herself:

"About a year ago I was reading on Dr. Anne Lawrence’s site about a new theory of the origin of trans called “autogynephilia.” This theory asserts that many trans women—and transsexual women in particular—desire reassignment surgery because they are eroticizing the feminization of their bodies.

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my last post

This will be my last blog post.

When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.

With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are …