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the road to womanhood

It's been such a slow and steady progression towards attaining some kind of equilibrium that I have almost not felt the change except of course when I look back. Yesterday I was out and about and stopped at a cell phone booth at the mall to enquire about getting a cell for my son (he is starting high school in the fall).

There were a young man and young lady there. They both looked at me as I approached and she jumped into action (perhaps because she thought this middle aged woman would be more comfortable dealing with her). We talked about the types of phones and plans available and I casually mentioned that my daughter helped teach me to text on my cell. She then said "I taught my mom too". And then it really struck home with me how much I had moved from out and about crossdresser to increasingly a woman doing her everyday activities.

It's a subtle change as nothing physical has changed but I was in a mental zone at the time where I was not aware of how I was dressed or how I appeared to her as we were dealing with the business at hand. That's why that moment was so sweet and was received so unexpectedly. I was not really trying but I was a woman and perhaps always have been.

But this woman comes with decades of male training on how ti walk and talk and posture in this society. Joanna if she is to move forward will have to unlearn some of those things as she moves foresee in her life. I say 'some' because in the end we are all a blend of male and female and I would not want to eradicate some of the more positive male aspects I have acquired over my ,5 decades of life.

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No, I don't mind

When Halle and I last got together the woman serving us said:

"I can't wait to get home and take off my bra you know what I mean ladies?"

Arguably the statement wasn't the most elegant thing to say to perfect strangers but it made me reflect.

The thing is I don't mind wearing a bra because it is one more reminder that I am trans. Feeling my breast forms pressed up against my skin and cupped within the confines of my bra makes me comfortable and is another piece which contributes towards soothing my gender dysphoria.

There are days when the combination of the feel of my bra and forms, the pull of my dangly earrings and the feel of my feet in heels is a powerful combination which feeds my soul. I used to think this was me fooling myself until I finally admitted that my identity is being affirmed through these accoutrements. They are like badges that allow me to be addressed and treated in the manner I want; like a woman.

The gender identity of cis people is fed in …