why autogynephelia is starting to ring hollow...

The more I read about it and try to apply it to my own experience as a so called non homosexual tg, the more I think that the hypothesis behind autogynephelia falls apart for me.

Firstly, my earliest memories of wanting to play dress up with my sisters or pretend to be a girl in my room, were so innocent and so devoid of any sense of sexual motivation. Secondly, my earliest experiences with orgasm brought shame and distaste to my otherwise wonderful feeling of joy. I would argue in fact that it was the sexual release that kept me purging and suppressing my tendencies towards the feminine. So while I desperately welcome an all encompassing theory that explains the way I am to my satisfaction, there is too much simplicity and dismissiveness in the theory. Saying that all non homosexual TS women are motivated by sex is simply not right.

So while I do find familiar themes in the essays by Lawrence, I don't find enough solid science or familiarity with my own experience with this disphoria to be able to support it finally.

Maybe the answer is to stop trying so hard to look for an origin and just concentrate on living.

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