The second occasion was accompanying my mother to our local corner cafe. The lady was chatting with my mother and said "you have a beautiful daughter" and that instant I was mortified and secretly flattered all at the same time.
Aside from being scolded by my mother for wearing her clothes at a very early age, those two incidents have stayed with me all my life. In my attempts to distance myself from them and masculine myself up later in life they still remain markers for me as to the conflict that's always raged within me.
My soft feminine features have helped me to pass but have also reminded me that I was somehow not quite able to measure up as a man. During my university years for example I grew a beard and kept it for the full duration of my studies. I would not be able to grow that beard today but not just because of the laser treatments I have undergone but because I am that much more of a woman today and wouldn't be able to bring myself to do it.