confiding in my mother

I had a conversation with my mother today over the phone. I had called her last night and left a message so she was calling me back. We spoke for a few minutes about my kids and my ex-wife and then the focus turned to me and how I was doing. I confided that i've been struggling and that I needed to see my doctor about my disphoria.

She really does get it now my mother. After the initial shock of 4 years ago wore off, she started to see that this is a deep and complicated issue. She's also seen enough Dr. Phil shows et al. to get a sense of how families struggle with this unwelcome gift. How sometimes the stories turn sour and in others everything works. Mike Penner became Christine Daniels only to revert back and then commit suicide. Lots of ugly stories like that one. Sad also because they could be prevented with the right amount of social education and putting the right systems in place to allow more seamless transitions in the workplace.

So as we talked and I mentioned the possibility that my own tale might lead to transition, she took me seriously and listened. And while I fight it tooth and nail, if it came down to my mental health being compromised, I would inevitably take the path of least resistance. I'd rather parent my kids as a balanced woman than as a hopelessly disphoric male.

My mother understood me even if it's not entirely what she wanted to hear. I love her very much.

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