I am not in the habit of meeting a lot of trans people in person. My history with such encounters has been mixed but since this is someone I had corresponded with (albeit sparingly) over the last 6 years or so I decided to accept an invitation to dinner. I had met this couple once before accidentally in a dress shop last summer when I was still with my gf and we made loose plans to meet up at some point in the future. Last night was to be the culmination of a few weeks worth of planning.
I met them at their hotel and we walked over to our restaurant which was within walking distance - a very modern looking continental tapas bistro.
The conversation flowed and as we compared notes on our experiences and the childhood origins of our crossdressing, I began to realize just how different we are. If there is a spectrum to the transgender world then she is near the beginning whereas I seem to be somewhere between crossdresser and transsexual. She was more drag shows and clubs and I was June Cleaver doing her groceries and going to the mall. Whereas I have been making friends with women, she has been meeting other gurls in gay bars.
It was a startling difference of approach and internal feelings and it brought home to me how far I am from the conventional crossdresser stereotype. I told her all of this and we understood each other to some extent and yet we couldn't be more different. In the end it was more about three people having a social experience than about finding common ground. When I mentioned autogynephelia theory or Ray Blanchard I got blank stares. I was ok with this because they were a perfectly lovely couple but on the root issues we could not relate and I was not going to reveal my current angst in detail. This is a person enjoying and revelling in the joys of dressing and happily doing so maybe once a month. I am dressing daily and struggling with disphoria.
It was a really fun evening but the stark contrast between us stayed with me well past arriving home.
I met them at their hotel and we walked over to our restaurant which was within walking distance - a very modern looking continental tapas bistro.
The conversation flowed and as we compared notes on our experiences and the childhood origins of our crossdressing, I began to realize just how different we are. If there is a spectrum to the transgender world then she is near the beginning whereas I seem to be somewhere between crossdresser and transsexual. She was more drag shows and clubs and I was June Cleaver doing her groceries and going to the mall. Whereas I have been making friends with women, she has been meeting other gurls in gay bars.
It was a startling difference of approach and internal feelings and it brought home to me how far I am from the conventional crossdresser stereotype. I told her all of this and we understood each other to some extent and yet we couldn't be more different. In the end it was more about three people having a social experience than about finding common ground. When I mentioned autogynephelia theory or Ray Blanchard I got blank stares. I was ok with this because they were a perfectly lovely couple but on the root issues we could not relate and I was not going to reveal my current angst in detail. This is a person enjoying and revelling in the joys of dressing and happily doing so maybe once a month. I am dressing daily and struggling with disphoria.
It was a really fun evening but the stark contrast between us stayed with me well past arriving home.
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